Sunday, February 22, 2009

Missed Connections-w4w

A lovely moment ocurred between the two of us earlier today on the corner of Sunset and Fountain in front of the EZLube.  I was the cute brunette with my boyfriend in tote, making good use of the crosswalk, when I believe you squaked something that sounded like "plaid and tights don't go together". I must admit, I was slightly discombobulated at the sheer classlessness of the situation and did not have time to offer you the obligatory finger.  However, I am rebuttling with a more fashionable response.  To do this, I simply refer to a definition that explains the type of person I had the misfortune of running into today.  

Motoho- A whore who loves moto bros. Hangs out at places like Glamis and "the river." She often has blonde hair on top, black underneath, huge foamie sandals and a SKIN tank top on. She sluts out for any attention she can get, and loves their "sick trucks."

So, I'm sorry you felt the need to shout obscenities at random strangers within the confines of the back seat in a lifted truck, which undoubtably got you high-fives for from the three bros in the front seat that you were seeking to impress.  "Thweet." It's okay, assuredly there's more self worth where that came from.  After all, when guys see you in those spandex booty shorts, matched with that white spaghetti strap tank top and black uggs, i'm pretty sure you'll get the quality of admiration you deserve. 

oh, and p.s., plaid and tights do go together.  And the next time you want to call a bitch out on her oufit, make sure you do your homework. 

This senario reminds me of a time where my sister and I were on the bart in San Fransico seated across from the most unfortunate of couples.  The nondescript guy "whispers" to the equally nondescript girl and asks if she likes the boots my sister is currently wearing (yellow j-crew boots with cartoon whales on them). The girl response was a vociferous "no."  Way to be subtle America. 

Blair Waldorf does not approve.